Meaningless Crap: The Shit Begins (Page 4)

This we can be sure. In one hand, the creature held a crude guitar made from a sorbent tissue box and rubber bands, and in the other he held a massive butterfly net. It was…the hippy version of the Easter Bunny! Yes, it took me over half a page to say, but there you go. Now the penguin, after putting his tuba away, started speaking to the rabbit who we will name ‘Morton’. Now, I’m not fluent in Jibberish, but I believe their conversation went something like this:
”Heya Morton, how’s things?”
”Good, and you?”
”I feel like I am half a dozen poppy seeds hanging from a peanut butter sandwich tree.”
”Look, a possum driving a bowling ball to Octopus school!”
”Ya know, I went to that school, they serve excellent pancakes…”
“Hey, why’d you call on me anyway?”
”Wah? Oh yeah, pies are attacking our village and we need you to stop them.”
Ok. What sort of pies? Meat?”
”Vegetarian.”
”YECH! You mean pasties?”
”Hell no! They’ve been extinct since next week. These are vegetarian pies led by an evil microwave accident.”
”Ok, I’ll try and stop them.”
”Thanks Morton. Will you go out with me?”
”I think not. I have too many problems. I’m already in two relationships, one with my left hand and the other with the right.”
”Well they don’t need to kno-“
”SHHH! My feet are listening in on this conversation.”
”Sorry, just go fight.”
”I LIKE CHEESE!!!”
Of course, all we could hear was “Scoobachuskeebalalabuchiraspull,” and similar. Hey, that sounds a bit like John Paul II, doesn’t it? Anyway, I just realized something about this story; not many creatures, human and chicken alike go to the bathroom. I thought I might clear this up before continuing. The secret is we wear nappies made from chewed up newspaper and recycled toilet paper. It’s highly absorbent, and only has to be changed every so often. Yes I know it sounds uncomfortable but it’s necessary. If one of the characters disappear for a page or two they’re probably changing the nappy.
Now as I, the paint grower, the penguin, chickens, undercooked muffin, few villagers and a little ten foot tall French-German marshmallow called Fifi who speaks English with a Puerto Rican accent, spoken with a Chekeslovakian accent, who also likes polka music, looked towards the village and the stampeding hippy. Running in through the gap created by the fat woman, the Easter Bunny quickly dispatched the pies, much to his disgust. Now, I must go change my nappy  so the penguin will take over for a little bit.