What is the point of playing an open world role playing game if I can’t get drunk while doing so?

Drink:

• Every time you drink a potion.
• When you level up.
• If a guard talks about his knee penetrated, rendering his days as an adventurer over.
• Drink twice if you resort to using fast travel.
• The word “Dragonborn” or “Dovahkiin” is used in speech.
• When you are caught committing a crime.
• You miss with an arrow.
• An NPC complains about your having a spell readied.

If you want it to be more difficult:

• Every time you save.
• When you see a dragon on screen.

Have any ideas to add to it? Do tell. I’m looking at improving this, since it was a bit of a “I want to drink already” rush job.

Here I am, with the Britt, drinking while playing Bioshock. Googling has revealed no real system for drinking while playing it, unlike movies. So here is the version I’m playing to, if you’re curious.

Drink every time

• You hear “Welcome to the circus of values” or the Mexican voice from the ammo vending machines.
• Atlas says “Would you kindly”.
• When your player gets accidently drunk.
• You find an audio diary.
• You harvest/rescue a little sister.
• You get a level up on the research camera.
• A splicer is heard singing “Jesus loves me this I know, because the bible tells me so”.
• With a successful hack.

While writing this, Britt of course tortured me but finding two audio diaries, accidently getting drunk AND levelling up on the research camera. And of just two seconds ago, she got a successful hack. If I don’t make it through today, tell my family I love them.