This is a tale1, the tale of a man. This man possessed many hats, but unlike others who strove for their titles as hat wearers, he did not really care. There was a certain thrill of finding a new one to add to his collection, but it quickly wore off when he saw others complaining and cheapening his happiness. One day, he decided no more; he was going to have some fun with his hats, for better or for worse.
In his possession was the following:
Deciding he could do without the Billycock and the Beard, the gentlementleman crafted the two together, to see what he could create. What he got disappointed him; a Demoman’s Fro. “But I am not black, nor scottish!” The mentlegan exclaimed. Onlookers laughed and cried out in disappointment. Since he was already in the mood, the gentleman announced he was going to craft it with either his Tyrants Helm or his Stainless Pot, and that his team members may decide. Unanimously, it was decided to craft the Stainless Pot; revealing an even more disappointing sight; a Texas Slim’s Dome Shine. The laughter was deafening. No-one had the guts to risk one of their coveted hats, let alone two of them, to such a risky exercise. But the mentleman was apathetic to the digital items. “The chances of getting three crappy hats in a row is 0 to 100 man! Craft!” Said one onlooker. The gentlegen knew the odds, but since he was already knee deep in crafting, decided to craft it with his Troublemakers Tossle Cap.
He had never cared for the urban style beanie, and was happy to see it go if it meant the chance of a decent hat. Pressing the craft button, he once again drew the short straw. “A Trophy Belt! That’s the generic hat with some teeth attached!” He shouted over the top of the constant chatter. “Well, the mining light is the generic hat with a light on it, maybe you should craft those two together.” One of the more vocal team members suggested. “Well why not,” the gentleman mumbled, and he crafted those two for his final attempt, and produced a Glengarry Bonnet. He shrugged and said, “could be worse, it could be one of the hats I’d already used up in this shameless experiment.” And went right on playing, with absolutely no gameplay changes whatsoever.
And the moral of the story is, anyone who obsesses over hats are douchefags. The end.
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