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I’m not an expert, but an article in yesterday’s Sunday Mail had me a bit confused. According to Brad Crouch’s “exclusive” Russell Wortley, an Upper House MP whom I have never heard of, was charged with a $10,500 phone bill from Telstra.

Faced with such an amount, the man does what anyone would naturally do and blame his offspring, claiming that his son downloaded over $7000 worth of “supposedly free phone applications”.

I want to attack this from two sides; first about the man and his son, then I want to briefly touch on how Brad Crouch retarded an already stupid piece of shit news.
First up, we’ll see how many applications his son would of had to download using Mr. Wortley’s phone for such a bill. Apparently it is suspected that the iPhone doesn’t have a data package bundled with the plan, which is what allows for cheaper downloads via 3G internet. The article has Craig Middleton, a spokesperson from Telstra, say “If you don’t have a data pack you’ll be paying $2 a megabyte”. This is news to me, but I’ve always had a data package because I know internet on 3G can get expensive.
So we have the rate of two dollars a megabyte. Now, iPhone’s have a feature which prevents you from downloading any application 10 megabytes or greater unless you’re connected to wireless internet, or downloading via iTunes. So for the sake of this post we’ll assume every single application was exactly ten megabytes, though it’s almost certain that many of them would of been one to five. The article has Wortley claim the two biggest “downloads in a short period” were $4000 and $3000. So we’ll assume that this is all that his son is accused of spending. So with some simple maths:

sumofthetotals You remember my epic MS Paint skills, right?

For those who aren’t quite with it, I divided the total sum of money by the total cost of a single 10MB application ($2 for every megabyte makes it 20), to reveal his son would of had to download 350 applications. Now, an iPhone 3G has a maximum of 9 pages for applications. Each page displays 16 applications, and there are 4 on the floating dock at the bottom. This means an iPhone can only hold 148 applications, including those shipped with the phone (Messages, Weather, Settings, etc). This means if I went on a download spree I could only download 133 applications before the iPhone would stop me. After that I’d have to delete other applications before I could keep going. Why didn’t he monitor his son’s use of the phone, and did he actually use his phone during any of that month? The fact that Wortley didn’t notice that his phone suddenly had hundreds of extra applications displays just how irresponsible he is with his mobile phone.
Wortley says “I don’t think parents or children would be aware that what appear to be free applications can cost a fortune in downloading where you get hit with thousands of dollars in bills over an hour.”. This shows his complete naivety in how things work. For thousands of dollars to be incurred in downloading applications, the “child” at fault would need to download hundreds of applications without trying any, and deleting them all as they went. If they did that, then I’d be suspicious as to whether or not they weren’t just getting back at their parents for not letting them go out that day. “Can’t see my friends? Then I’ll rape my phone bill with a metaphorical rake handle.”
In any case, it is unlikely that the costs were the result of just application downloads. It was more likely a combination of that, phone calls and internet browsing. I find that excessive use of YouTube can eat through my data rather quickly. If Wortley knew how to actually use an iPhone, he might also gain the ability to go into Settings and disable the Application Store, YouTube, and even the internet browser. Case solved. Wortley, you’re an idiot.

IMG_0613 Also, you probably used up your downloads watching YouTube videos).

Now, I want to talk about Brad Crouch. His article, which was made to look like an article about Russel Wortley’s lack of responsibility, instead points the finger in a more generalized direction. The article uses sentences like “has revealed a phone fiasco where unsuspecting users can be charged more than $4000 an hour for so called free phone applications” and uses Wortley’s case as an example.
The article is deliberately written to make the companies (which in this case I guess would make it both Apple and Telstra) look like evil overlords who specifically designed the phone and subsequent services to rip off as many people as they can. Now sure, they’re here to make money, but by no means are they trying to trick you. At the time of the sale, Telstra are legally obliged to explain things including how 3G and their data plans work. Therefore, unless there was a problem and Telstra ACCIDENTLY charged them too much1, it really is due to the irresponsible person rather than the sinister corporations.

In short, Mr. Wortley should of been more careful, and probably should have monitored what his child was doing with his government phone.

631656162_1d4719f106 Hello, is this Mr. Atkinson? You are a poo head (Photo by Nieve44/La Luz)

I remain perplexed as to how he believes he can blame it all on application downloads and still claim to be unaware, given the evidence2. What do you think of the situation?

  1. Wortley confessing they made the downloads, even though I still doubt it was through application downloads, means this is more than likely not the case
  2. evidence I explained rather messily, but explained regardless

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Marilyn Manson – The High End Of Low

by ZombieSkittles on May 20, 2009

We’ve made it; the third and final post about Marilyn Manson’s latest piece of work The High End Of Low. There is definitely something satisfying about finally being able to listen to the album in it’s entirety, polished and finished without needing to question “will the final version sound anything like this?”. For those who haven’t read them, I wrote about the first released song We’re From America and the leaked demos, here and here respectively. And now, the “review”.

It became immediately obvious that the record was going to be slower on the whole, than the bands previous efforts. The first five songs in the album also happened to be the ones whos demos became public a few months ago, and it definitely comes as a relief to hear them sounding much more polished and complete. Devour is a love song (of sorts), which being at the front of the album makes me think of it as a much shorter (by around half, thank fucking god) version of If I Was Your Vampire from Eat Me Drink Me. After Devour, you’re given a few seconds silence to get over the pace of the last song, before rocking out to the second track, Pretty As A Swastika. The title makes it seem like he’s grasping for anything that may shock people, but to little effect. Be that as it may, when the sound of Twiggy’s rusty guitar and Manson chanting “YEAH!” welcome you into the song, it feels a lot like something that would of come out of the recording sessions for Antichrist Superstar rather than anything he’d make in recent times.

THEOL_MySpace_3

The next few songs were all improved 100% from their demos, and make this sound like the album to “bring back the old Marilyn Manson”.  Even Four Rusted Horses, while temporarily slowing down the tempo of the album (which is a little sporadic anyway), kept me much more interested than it had before. Arma-Goddamn-Motherfuckin-Geddon completely blew me away too; it is entirely deserving of being the first “official single”.
Speaking of which; the music video for the song was released the other day, and features clips which make direct references to the band back in the nineties, when they brought out Antichrist Superstar. The clip itself is really well done, and I love it:

The video is disabled for embedding on YouTube (because they’re a bunch of douchefags). Watch it on DoucheTube here.

I got a temporary lack of faith when the track Blank and White kicked in. The song, unlike the rest of the album, has more of a twang to begin with, which made me picture Marilyn Manson in overalls, playing a washboard. A piece of wheat dangling out the side of his mouth, and maybe a cow in the near background, chewing on some cud. On closer look, you notice that one of the buttons on Manson’s overalls has fallen off, making one of the straps dangle against his stomach.
Enough of that though; the song quickly hardens the fuck up and brings us what we expect of Manson…in a way. I found the song too trying on me, especially for four minutes worth. But if that’s long, then the next two songs go on forever. The aptly named Running To The Edge Of The World, which clocks in at over six minutes, slows down again, bringing in a more acoustic sounding guitar, and hits us with sad vocals much easier on the ears than when he belted out the harsh “ballad” Just A Car Crash Away on the last album. Then just over three and a half minutes into it, the song moves into VERY familiar territory. A small voice in falsetto spookily singing about death, almost exactly as in the title track from Holy Wood, In The Shadow Of The Valley Of Death.

HighendoflowSix minutes not long enough? Well, the next song tops that with EIGHT MOTHERFUCKING MINUTES. The song I Want To Kill You Like They Do In The Movies doesn’t really have much going for it. Being at around the same tempo as the previous track, the song is far more boring, trying to cover that up by seeing how many vocal tracks they can overlap before their software hits it’s limit. As long as you don’t pay much attention to it, the song is decent enough, for filler.
And that brings us to the track WOW. I didn’t say much on it, other than I really didn’t like it. However, listening to the album version now, I can say I was effectively, retarded. Like a motherfucker. The song hits me as being what Para-noir from Golden Age Of Grotesque would of sounded like, had you of removed the female vocals, and given it more influence from David Bowie. Much more influence. It reminds me of Golden Years to a degree.
Wight Spider once again sounds like Marilyn Manson attempting more Holy Wood-esque sounds, keeping with the same slow sound from the past few songs, and more angsty sad vocals. The song itself didn’t really appeal to me, and could of probably been dropped from the album completely and I doubt anyone except Manson would of missed it.
At this point, as soon as Unkillable Monster starts with MORE SLOW MUSIC, I can’t help but wonder if this is all that’s left for the album; that Manson and co didn’t just brainstorm for the new album and go “I know, let’s attempt to fill up the rest of the album with as many ballad type songs as human possible. That will really get the fans pumped!” Thank god, when we hit We’re From America, as repetitive as it is, we get to rock out a little. Shall I get my cock out? No? Then let us move on.
While the album lacks a title track (a first for Marilyn Manson’s major releases since Smells Like Children, which was named after an unrecorded track at the time), the song I Have To Look Up Just To See Hell serves as one anyway, repeating the title of the album numerous times. Only slightly faster than the previous four slow fucking songs (disregarding WOW and We’re From America entirely in that statement), the song is far more enjoyable; deep drums and screaming vocals fill it, and make for a decent listen.

Then we get to the wailing. There is always wailing. Why does there have to be wailing? I personally don’t want wailing. Into The Fire is pretty much exactly the same as it’s demo counterpart, and it shows that Marilyn Manson learned from the last album; it’s the only one to feature a full guitar solo, and as such is thoroughly enjoyable to hear.
The final track is…very unusual. 15 really can’t be described, and you need to hear it yourself. See what I did there? I didn’t talk about the entire album, leaving you with something that remains at least for the majority, a mystery. Do I mean weird as in the Untitled tracks from previous albums, or the hidden track that features in Smells Like Children to make you shit your pants? Find out.

To conclude, because every blog post needs a conclusion; the album is GOOD. I am so glad for that. You can hear multiple references to earlier eras of the band, and it seems there’s a fair bit of borrowed content from their past. However, for the most part, it is an enjoyable listen. My only complaint, is there is far too much sadness and and too many songs that could be called ballads. Not too happy about that, but hey, since when did it have to be perfect?

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