Well, I don’t really know what to say here that wasn’t already said here a year ago, or in person the other day. Today marks my two year anniversary with Brittany and it’s a hell of a feeling.

I’m so happy we’ve made it this far. Two years is more than I expected her to put up with my shit, and it’s comforting to know she’s always there for me.
We both still remember the night we became partners, and I really do love reminiscing about it.

A sketch of our first date.

Britt, I know I’m not always the greatest guy, but this time we’ve spent together has been amazing. We’ve had our ups and downs but we’ve proven that we can always come out on top. I can’t wait to see what the next few years bring. I love you. Faggot.

Well tomorrow marks my two year anniversary with my partner, but we decided to exchange presents early. I got her a really nice dress that looks amazing on her, and she got me possibly the greatest gift on the face of the Earth.

She got me an Amazon Kindle 3.

This is something I’ve wanted for ages. The want was amplified when my housemate himself got one, and I was able to hold it and check it out. The device itself is roughly the size of an A5 piece of paper, contains ~3GB for books (Which Amazon states will carry 3500 books) and yet is still freakishly light.
One fundamental difference the Kindle has in comparison with normal “Tablets” like the iPad is the screen; it’s designed in a way that it feels like I’m reading actual paper. There’s no glare, and everything is really clear and easy to read.
Furthermore, unlike the iPad, this device’s charge apparently lasts for two months. Amazing. Why can’t we have this for our phones and other battery powered devices? I hate having to charge things every night.

Reading and turning pages is easy, as the direction buttons on either side of the device are in the perfect position. One clever feature is if there’s a word I don’t know, I can highlight it and the Kindle will access it’s dictionary and tell me the definition of the word.

The thing that truly excites me about the Kindle is the same thing that I love about Steam; I’m sick of paying exorbitant prices for books. If I go to buy a hard copy of a  book from my local brick and mortar book store I can be looking at paying anywhere from twenty to fifty dollars for it. On the Kindle Store however, popular titles are rarely over ten. Additionally, there are plenty of self published titles available on the Kindle ranging from prices of five dollars, to as low as one dollar, or even completely free. Why would I want to buy a book from Borders when I could get multiple times as many and most likely pay less altogether? That’s a rhetorical question, don’t answer it.

I’d been looking for something to get me back into reading again, and this little splendid piece of technology appears to have done the trick. I love it.

I was going to direct this at all my ex-girlfriends in one list of dot points, then realized that since most cheated on me, it’d just be a list of the same things over and over again, so instead, this is aimed at just one.

You are a slut. A bitch. You were a fat cow who wanted as much dick as she could get, no matter where from in what hole. If I had of known I would not of even considered going out with you. Sure, you taught me a lot of things and introduced me to things like weed, but you also got me in some stupid shit, like getting trapped in McDonalds while we waited for the cops to come, all because you and your friends pissed off some thirteen year old bitches.

I stopped talking to you and getting more distant because you started making me sick. I should of just broken up with you, but I really stopped caring.

Really, I was glad we started getting distant. I stopped feeling anything for you after a while, and when I was told you cheated on me about a million times, I realized I’d made the right decision. I hope all those cocks were worth it. I’m with an awesome girl now, and I’m genuinely happy.

Herp derp goodbye, hope you’re miserable.

When I read that title I immediately picture a product marketed by Fisher-Price. But this is the story of how I ended up in my first relationship with a girl. Of course in my immaturity I had little to no concept of what was actually happening, or what to do. But I was happy I got a girlfriend.

I met her for the first time when I was in year 10 at school (making me 15 at the time), at a Lutheran youth group. I’m not Lutheran, in fact I’m hardly religious at all. I was christened a Roman Catholic, but am effectively a practicing Atheist. I’m not sure how you can actively practice Atheism, but I’m pretty sure I do. I went to the group’s weekly gathering because I’d been invited by a girl called Charlotte over msn. She was a friend of some mates from school, so I thought why not.
While there, I had a bit too much caffeine from the local deli, and went a bit stupid. I hadn’t learned to cope with caffeine like I do now, so having a two litre bottle of coke to myself wasn’t the smartest thing at the time. I jumped around, laughed at everything that happened (funny or not…but I always do that). At some point I ended up wearing a dress too, with the peaks of two caps being used to simulate breasts. I was quite the pillar of maturity back then. It was an overall fun day/night, and I came back for the event each time over the next couple of months. Skating and the like was pretty fun, even though I couldn’t do much other than ollie (and hey, I ended up being able to heel flip, I consider that an achievement!). I didn’t really talk to Charlotte much in person, but when we spoke via msn or text messaging we talked a storm. She was a great laugh and was really cool too. I really liked her and she was easy to talk to.
Then while at home one day, I received an unexpected text message, of course from a number I didn’t know. In it, the person confessed to being one of Charlotte’s friends and she was asking me out for Charlotte. I of course, accepted gleefully. And that was the start of my first relationship, throwing me into what would be the first relationship of my life.