ranty mcrant rant

Past few days, seemingly without any reason, ants have been in my room. I’ll see one occasionally crawling along my screen, and it goes something like this:

Ant: Sup?
Me: ………*flicks*

And that’s how it’s been for the past few days. I cleaned my room but they were still around, so we’ve been living in harmony. Then tonight, while drinking my Iced Coffee, ants tried getting into it, but I held onto my glass the whole time to stop them. So it was fine, but that was when things went from worse, to worse than worse (ultra worse? megaworse? We need a word for this; an awesome word).

I finished my drink, and got another. I put away the milk, and came back to my desk (yes, I take the stuff to the glass rather than the glass to the stuff. I’m awesome) to find an ant crawling on the glass. I flicked it off and checked the drink, fuelled by my paranoia, to find a dead one floating on top. I’m not going to waste the drink and it’s just one ant, so I grabbed it out, flicked it away, and had a drink. I could still taste ant, so absentmindedly checked the bottom of the glass; revealing four motherfucking dead ants.
Calmly, I got up and sprinted to the sink. Projectile-spat what was in my mouth and tipped out the glass. That should of been the end of it, one crappy bit of luck when it comes to my drink. But no, it actually gets worse.

Still thirsty, I grabbed my glass and went to make another iced coffee. There were three ants sitting on the lid of the iced coffee, chilling out. I flicked them off, annoyed, and put the glass down. At that point, one ant appeared from under the fucking lid. An “oh god” actually escaped my lips, and I opened the bottle and looked under the lid.

I shit you not, ten dead ants. I sniffed the iced coffee; it smelled like ant carcass. I had been drinking ant carcass juice in my iced coffee.

I hate life sometimes.

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