Well, I’m a day late, but happy new year! So much has happened this past decade, and here’s a recap of the things that matter:
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2000: I turned 11 years old
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2001: Terrorists blew up America. I turned 12 years old.
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2002: The stars align, and Mozilla Firefox is born in its first version. I turn 13 years old; there is much rejoicing.
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2003: The Iraqi war begins, but that doesn’t matter because I turn 14.
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2004: The only thing that comes even close to the splendour of me turning 15, is the terrible terrible tragedy, of Goatse.cx being shut down.
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2005: The Xbox 360 is released. This is ALMOST as important as my 16th birthday, but not quite.
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2006: Saddam Hussein is executed for crimes against facial hair. Also, guess who turned 17 this year? ProTip: Me.
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2007: Nothing of particular note happened, except I turned 18 and could now drink alcohol legally. All want for the drink vanished.
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2008: Google Chrome is released, and the first ever black presidential candidate is voted into office, proving movies such as The Fifth Element, to be an accurate prediction of our future. We’re going to die via super intelligent massive destructive force from the edge of the universe. However, I turn 19 years old, so no one cares about our impending destruction.
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2009: The economic downfall was super fun, and made my 20th birthday all the more enjoyable.
Here’s looking forward to 2010! So far we know that Stephen Conroy plans to block the Internet in Australia, much like Montgomery Burns blocked out the sun in that one episode of The Simpsons. We can only hope this plays out like that show, and someone shoots him.
Also, my 21st birthday happens this year. Hell of YEAH.
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