Work

Casinos are evil

by ZombieSkittles on March 18, 2010

This is something that in the past year of working at the Adelaide Casino, I’ve heard a lot. There’s a stereotype that even though casinos are Government regulated to make sure they fit in laws and are fair, that every game is rigged so people have no chance of winning. Indeed, one guy even went so far as to believe we watched and rigged his hands personally, but we’ve already talked about him before. Let’s move on.
There is also that opinion that every employee of the industry is a soul sucking demon robot who cares not for emotion, and instead wants to take all your money in a game of chance.

It’s no doubt that this sort of thought pattern is fuelled by the movies, where the casino owner is almost always a villain. They’re willing to sell out people, beat them to a pulp in the back room for small infringements, and are all round corrupt. I blame Andy Garcia.

benedictYou motherfucker.

Because of the bad reputation given to us by the film industry, and from the unregulated casinos that do apparently still exist in America, we’re labelled as evil a lot of the time. I call bullshit.

Games aren’t rigged, but the odds are in the house’s favour.

This comes as no surprise to anyone with half a brain, but there is still a fairly large number of people out there who believe the games in a casino should be 50/50 in winnings. The problem with this mentality is that it is impossible for a casino to do that. It’s a business and if they don’t have a “house edge”, they risk losing money and thus not existing.
However, with Government regulations and common sense, the house edge is never ridiculous. For example, the true odds of picking the correct number straight up in roulette is 37 to 1. So, the casino pays out at odds of 35 to 1. The game is still random and you could win, but in the end the casino has the edge, however slight it may be. The old saying comes to mind “The house always wins”. While it may not be true individual to individual, overall, the casino is obviously making money or it wouldn’t be in business.

We are soulless robots brainwashed to take your money and cheat you.

Oh man this is totally true. Why would they employ normal people to deal cards to you when they could brainwash us into stealing all your money. I mean, the side effects kind of suck, like if someone accidently uses a trigger word around me I go ballistic and start killing people, but it’s totally worth it.
But realistically; we’re getting paid the same average wage if you win or lose. We* want you to win so then everyone is happy. Unless you’re an asshole to us and everyone around you, in which case we hope you lose it all while your partner is at home banging some other guy. With her mouth.

The casino will kick you out for winning too much money.

No, the casino will kick you out for being an arrogant fuckwit who treats everyone like shit or is otherwise disturbing everyone else.
This is a big one, as so many people kick up a fuss when getting kicked out, blaming it on this. The fact is, we don’t care if you win one thousand dollars. It’s not “a lot of money”. Last night I had someone win forty three thousand on my table in baccarat, and even that isn’t considered enough to kick someone out. Why should we punish people for doing well? It makes no sense.
Casinos kick people out for a variety of reasons though, including pre-existing bans, being underage, drunk, falling asleep at tables, being there for over 24 hours, etc. Most of what the casino does falls under certain practices we have to follow lest the company cops a fine (responsible drinking, etc).
We will never kick you out for winning.

I had a fourth point but now I’ve forgotten it.

You’re copying Rubenerd. You should stop that.

No.

Yes.

I’d like to throw out there that while most of this is an honest attempt at dealing out facts, I may have a point or two incorrect. This really only applies to Adelaide Casino, as some casinos have altered rules, regulations and allowances. Who knows, Crown Casino may actually brainwash their employees. We don’t know for certain.

*I speak for the majority, but there are definitely a few dealers who are pretty indifferent, or actually enjoy when the customers lose. Be that as it may, we still won’t steal your money.

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A Smell Strong Enough To Rip A Hole In Time And Space

by ZombieSkittles on February 23, 2010

This piece of ancient writing is from all the way back in July of 2008, when I was working as a checkout dick at Foodland. Wow.

I am writing this literally minutes after serving a customer with THE strongest B.O I have ever smelled. It was worse than the smell of a sweating feminist after she jogged to a rally protesting against air conditioning on a hot summers day. On a volcano. An active. volcano. The smell of that woman after all that sweating would be nothing compared to what was standing before me at that moment.
I was completely taken aback by the power of her odour, to the point that I had to actually pause to take in what was happening.
I just couldn’t fathom how someone would let themselves stink THAT MUCH. Fighting back tears as the smell stung my eyes, I started her sale, hoping with all my might that her problem was simply a one off; that she might of simply run out of deodorant and was buying some more today.
As she put her stuff on the checkout belt, I saw she was grouping her items, frozens together, bread together, meat together, etc. This also meant that her toiletries would be together, so i could easily catch sight of whether or not she was buying any deodorant. As her sale moved on, and I coughed repeatedly as the foul taste invaded my mouth, I was dismayed to find no deodorant in her hygene and cleaning stuff. Still retaining some hope, I fought off the feeling of the odour destroying my tastebuds, and asked "Do you have any other chemicals I can add to this bag; like dishwashing detergent, or maybe deodorant?"
I smirked because of how obvious I was being.
Oh god…
This was inhuman. Jesus must of been weeping at this point; he did not die so people could smell like this! I decided to just finish the sale ASAP an be rid of this hell.
I got to the end of the seemingly endless stream of items, when another, mildy nicer smell, became noticable to me…
"Excuse me, you grabbed a leaking bleach."
She took a look at it and said "Oh wow, I couldn’t even smell it!"
Gee, I wonder why.
To effectively cut this story off at the knees (because even THINKING about the smell makes me ill), we got her bleach replaced which meant she had to hang around longer. At that point her sale was at $200. TWO HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS AND SHE COULDNT BUY EVEN ONE STICK OF ROLLON. What the fuck was wrong with her? I wanted to ask, but I didn’t want her to go into a big speil about the ozone layer or anything, because then she would of lingered LONGER.
Hopefully I never have to serve her again.

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December Holiday Post

by ZombieSkittles on December 25, 2009

Happy Holidays!

whatFear my awesome photoshopping skills.

This is my first Christmas on ZombieSkittles. This is kind of awesome.

I didn’t really have much to say here; I worked last night until midnight, and I start at midnight tonight (Gamblers don’t care it’s Christmas, but we make them take the day off.), but I’m feeling pretty good. I’ve already sent and received a lot of holiday wishes and messages, called a few people (Hey there Britt), and received a majority of my gifts. An air conditioner, awesome headset and scorpion tequila included in the gifts.

Due to money problems (meaning my ability to save) I haven’t been able to get gifts for my family in time for today. I’ve promised them presents within the next two weeks though, and I will go through with that.

But hey, you didn’t want to hear about that, right?

Anyway, I hope you all have a great day, thank you to everyone who sent me messages or gave me presents.

And here’s a list of other people giving Christmas wishes:

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Skewed

by ZombieSkittles on November 28, 2009

At work on the wall in the stairwell, there is a Quote Of The Week which is changed each week. This week’s read:

Sticks in a bundle are unbreakable.

My first thought when I saw this is “It’s also referred to as a faggot”. That is all.

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Question #1

by ZombieSkittles on September 23, 2009

The first question asked on my “What do you want me to do?” form reads as follows:

You don’t seem to like your job, is it because of the changing shifts from night to day all the time?

Now that’s a really good question. I just want to say now that I love my job. It’s a really great job. I complain a lot, but I do love the job. It leaves me always tired and unable to sleep half the time, because as soon as I get used to one type of shift, they switch me back to the other. Couple that with some really stressful customers and you get a recipe for crankiness.
So I guess yes, the negative attitude is partially because of the irregular shift patterns, but it’s just ranting.

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Wristband, or über sophisticated theft device?

by ZombieSkittles on August 16, 2009

Today I got delivered the inevitable ultimatum that the wrist band I wear, which was a reward from SocialVibe for the amount of points I’ve raised, couldn’t be worn anymore while I worked. My boss said that while it was great that I help charities, it can’t be worn for security reasons. Apparently back in the day, everyone wore them, and it became an issue because it was easy to slip a chip up your sleeve using it.
The question I pose is, HOW? The thing is a loose piece of rubber that sits on my arm, and isn’t thick enough to seat a chip on it. Is there some special technique I’m missing, or is there some attachment that turns it into a device utilized by professionals?
Later on I got the lowdown, that wristbands were actually banned a few years ago to stop people wearing similar bright orange bands that promoted the union’s campaign of the time. So unfortunately I have to put up with that.

Sucks.

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First up: we state the obvious.

by ZombieSkittles on July 12, 2009

First, the most obvious way to save money; work. I work a job that earns me roughly $400 to $500 a week, with one hundred going to rent, and fifty to paying off my computer.
It’s safe to assume, that with those payments, I need to find an amount for luxuries, unexpected payments, and saving. Since I get paid fortnightly, and for the sake of underestimation, we’ll say I get paid $800, and after rent I end up with 500. Which…wow that’s a lot now I’ve written it and can see it.
So, with $500 to work with, I think we can assume that I should be able to save $200 a fortnight. This leaves me with $300 to work with for phone bills and random wants like alcohol.

Now it’s just a case of sticking with this.

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