Woody flavour.

Approaching my room after getting a delicious beverage, I stopped at the beginning of the hallway in shock of the image before me.

My sister was licking my door. Actual licking. Tongue to door action. Saliva everywhere. She was making out with my door.

A “What the fuck?!” escaped my lips, and she ran back to her room laughing hysterically. Confused, I sat at my computer and played Quake 4. I kicked ass by the way, the final boss didn’t stand a chance. Thanks for asking, but yeah, my epic gaming abilities (translation: ability to toggle god mode) aren’t what’s being discussed here, so lets move on.
Curiosity began to fester, and as a result of being badgered over msn, I decided to ask my sister why on Earth she would taste my door. Being that I didn’t want to get up, I tweeted her the question.

.@el_jen …why were you licking my bedroom door?

Then I waited. Ten minutes rolled by before I finally decided she wouldn’t be answering via Twitter, so I finally ventured to her room for her answer.

Me: Jennifer, I tweeted you.
Jennifer: I didn’t get it. I have no internet.
Me: Oh, well can I ask you a question?
Jennifer: But I won’t be able to answer it.
Me: No, I mean in person. I’m standing 3 metres away from you, I’m sure you could answer.
Jennifer: I have no internet to tweet with.
Me: Whatever, just answer me this, why did you lick my door?
Jennifer: I can’t answer that.
Me: Why not?
Jennifer: Because I have no internet.
Me: What?
Jennifer: I have no internet so I can’t answer that.
Me: Why not just tell me now?
Jennifer: Because it’s something that has to be twittered!
Me: Why though?
Jennifer: We will NEVER KNOW.
Me: …what?
Jennifer: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

And at that point I backed away, closed her door, and ran in here for safety. I think I better go wash my door now.

Tagged as: jennifer, seriously stop, stop that now, that's just nasty, what the fuck are you doing